Welcome to Millennial Burnout

“What part of yourself have you fought to keep alive despite all the change?” ~Keke Palmer

As I sit in front of my computer working to finalize one of the most complex vendor contracts I’ve ever managed, tears falling from my eyes like a treacherous summer rain because my real life is hanging on by a thread, this question Palmer posed at her recent event with Fabletics crosses my mind. The short answer to this question is, I don’t know that I have. I’m not sure that, over the past thirteen years as a single parent while simultaneously working to sustain and build a career, I’ve even thought about fighting for pieces of myself. To be honest, my happiness or self-preservation has been the last thing on my mind.

I share this truth because I know I’m not alone in this reality. In a world of “self-love”, self-care”, and “main character energy,” it’s hard for women, especially Black women, to be honest about the fact that those things are often a luxury we’re not afforded or even know how to tap into because we’re simply trying to survive one storm or recover from the last. There is a myriad of reasons for this, but the main one for over 80 percent of Black mothers, according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, is that they’re the sole or co-breadwinner in their families. As someone who fits into this statistic, I can attest there are moments when I would love to completely succumb to my circumstance and rest or reset or simply have space for an emotional breakdown, but if I were to do that, everything else in my life would crumble as well.

Speaking with my therapist after my emotional debacle with the contract I mentioned earlier, she shared that many Black women have similar moments to mine; moments where we would love to simply cry and feel all of our emotions, but don’t have the space or opportunity to do so. It is simple enough to say “just take a break”, “give yourself time to heal”, or even “ask for help”; but in reality, those things are very complex when you need to maintain financial stability, don’t have consistent help with caregiving, and are trying to manage your own life and career as well. These truths create a feeling of both isolation and frustration and often land many of us in a space of high-functioning depression that the outside world would never know.

I’m starting this new blog, Millennial Burnout, because I believe there are women similar to me who are completely depleted and still fighting to find a way forward despite all they’ve been through and are currently experiencing. Each week I’ll share a post about my personal experiences, or a fictional tale about a specific issue I know many are experiencing. I wrote an article for xoNecole in 2023 about creating safe spaces for Black women to heal, and that’s what I’d like this space to become.

Talk soon,

Christa Janine